"Sticks and stones may brake my bones but words will never hurt me."
We've all heard the little rhyme from the very first time we walked on the playground. But there couldn't be a more false rhyme created by school children or whoever so foolishly created it.
I am often the object of shock and stares when we go into public and just as often I hear people whispering under their breath or those who are just as bold as could be that exclaim it right to my face... "four boys! oh my you poor thing" or perhaps the age old, "you are a saint" oh yes and the ever popular "you do know what causes that don't you!?" and the constant "my you have your hands full" at every turn.
I usually shrug them off with some sort of sweet remark about how blessed I am (ok, sometimes I'm sarcastic). But honestly I almost always walk away feeling somewhat sad for those who are so dismayed that anyone would actually have that many children. Honestly I don't really consider our family big, not yet anyway!
But even more so, I feel heart broken that having four boys is so frowned upon. Today however may have been the hardest encounter of this kind. While shopping I had a woman who I know was completely unaware of how her words effected my entire family begin to exclaim about four boys... and then she started into, "where is the sister??!! Common' boys don't you want a sister?"
I watched as Caleb just stood and stared at her anger washing over his entire little being, he didn't say a word, he was respectful but as he turned away from her I saw tears rolling down his cheeks. None of the boys answered her, they all just looked hurt and a little shocked and confused as to how to answer such a painful question for our family.
Anyway, it got me to thinking... How do I present myself, do I say things when out in public or with family and friends that encourage others and build them up or do I tear them down without even realizing it? Words have such a deep impact, people we come into contact with may be suffering deep wounds that we know nothing about. How mindful am I to only say things that would be an encouragement?!
I pray that by sharing this I can encourage others to always be tender hearted towards any mother out shopping with her children, because everything we say to mom is heard and taken to heart by her precious babies.
My boys have asked me countless times why I'm so poor because I have four boys and what is wrong with having four boys. I always tell them I'm not poor but rich because God has blessed their daddy and I with a full quiver!
~The mouth of the righteous man utters wisdom, and his tongue speaks what is just.~ Psalm 37:30
2 comments:
Mosey, that is such a wonderful reminder. I have to say, though, when I saw the photos of your 4 boys my first thought was, "What a great looking family!" I often get comments about how many years are between my children, Casey is 20, Austin is 12, and Logan is 4; I can kind of relate to the stares when I tell people their ages.
You are a wonderful mom, and I know that little sister will be in your family, soon. It's a shame that people don't often think before they speak, and I have to shamefully admit that I've done that, but I am trying to let God shut my mouth when it should be shut.
I can relate to this too and I only have 3 kiddos. Many people consider my family large and I don't agree. I am so sorry that woman's words hurt your sons and you. She didn't know, of course, but I wish people would be more thoughtful of what comes out of their mouths. I once went into the grocery store with my hubby, 3 kiddos, foster baby and my son's friend and I could feel the eyes the whole time. The 5 kids behaved and all, but still we were watched. We love watching 18 kids and counting and I love their example!
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